Meraki Meeting Notes- May 14, 2019

Roles

·               Vibe Keeper: Sheila

·               Time Keeper: Mellen

·               Facilitator: Deb

·               In-Gathering: Jason

Attendees: Diedre, Deb, Kendra, Jason, Martin, Mellen, Oracle, Steve, Jenna, Don, Sheila, Tasha 

Aligned Agenda:

1.  Legal Update – proposal for minors at dance
2. Consent committee update - all consent committee docs
3. Consent committee Snack and Chat  - proposal for Snack and Chat
4. Spring Retreat
5.  Restorative Justice - proposal for restorative justice process
6. Accepting credit card payments - Kiara
7. Meeting frequency -Oracle

1.    Legal Update – Mellen

Shared summary of proposal

proposal for minors at dance

Parent sign off if under 18

Discussion:

Sheila: Would be important to have online and they can have parent sign in advance

Oracle: Check with parent all ages dance info

Deidre: Would encourage signed formed and have phone number of guardian and role
Tasha: IDing people who are younger is on greeter which should be noted

Deb: 13-15 parent there, 16+ needs sign off

Jason: Proposes we should discuss maybe the age 13 is too young

Conclusion: 

During next meeting we will discuss 13+ age at dance

2.    Consent committee update

Kendall: Rolling out with heartful no and bracelets this Sunday. Diedre Kendall and Neil will get to dance early and share an announcement during closing circle. Details are written for website, FB, email, and poster. May create a short video for FB or email.

Heartful no and bracelets will be announced this Sunday and the 3 following.

Discussion:

Jason: Recommends they have a member there for Thursday as well and poster. Recs checking with Paulina (Avant dance center person) or John to confirm time is okay.

Martin: Asks for consistency in how message is shared to group. Has concerns about how the heartful no and bracelet is shared to group.

Oracle: Closing circle is a bit overloaded and suggests maybe having a table next to greeter

Deb: Suggests having it short as it will be 4 times

Jason: Reiterates every 4 times will be a lot, just float it by after the 2^ndtime

Conclusion: 

Consent committee to continue roll out plan.

3.    Consent committee: Snack and chat

Kendall: Looking for approval to get a few snacks and meet & greet with consent committee. Will facilitate a light discussion about experience with new process and boundaries

Involved people: Diedre, Clohe, Neil, Kendall

Date: June 23^rd(tentatively) 

Can share out an update during following closing circle 

Proposal: 

To have snack and chat: Approved!

Date: June 23^rd

            

Discussion: 

Sheila: Feels it should be early since it will be with the momentum of the campaign

            Mellen: Wondering if there will be follow ups

            Kiara: Feels earlier would be better to go with momentum 

Deb: agrees it should be early

Oracle: Feels a lot of folks leave, concern that brining it in more during dance may be more effective

Steve: Feels the education part is important. Wondering how this will be done.

Martin: Wants to clarify what he’s saying that he believes in freedom of how PCD works and capacity for self-education.

Kendall: Education about contact dance and making dance safer. This isn’t part of consent, but it is related. This will be explored in the future.

Money: $60 

            Approved!

Deb: In summary, let’s plan for it, more definition in next Meraki

Conclusion: 

Approved snack and chat in June 

Approve that we might have fall meeting

Approve that more definition will come during June Meraki meeting

4.    Spring Retreat

Tasha: Update: 2 cancellations, 2 spots open

Will use our PCD equipment because the DJ space is very high 

Residential retreat only, holding container of retreat

Deb: Suggests if this comes up again next year it can be discussed more

Don: Was person who didn’t want to spend the night

Tasha: If legit reason, someone doesn’t have to spend the night

5.    Restorative Justice 

Diedre: reread proposal

oproposal for restorative justice process

Proposal is to have a training (2 parts)

Consent committee would like to find youth, people of color, LGBTQ folks who would like to participate for $10 each and PCD cover the rest

Discussion: 

Deidre: There was previous resistance against needing something so formal. This doesn’t mean we’d implement each time something arises. Want to support culture where people can find healing.

Kendall: Would like to move forward with training to add tools for us, and the folks attending can bring back ideas for how to integrate. Believes this will allow for a container around this conversations.

Proposal is more about doing training vs. adopting into culture 

Max for 2 workshops is $500 total

If 10 people attend, $300 total.

6 seats for consent committee folks to join

+ other people

Martin: Wondering if PCD should be making departure for policy which is that we don’t fund outside experts. Believes in RJ but doesn’t want to be part of training. Wondering why PCD should be getting involved in process that doesn’t have anything to do with dance outside of offensive or violence is happening. Feels we should see how heartful no, bracelet works first before we move forward with RJ? 

Steve: RJ upon research is a system that is related to criminal behavior, and he recognizes this is used in schools too. Doesn’t know about perceived infractions and if these constitute RJ education. Seems like it could be punitive shaming. 

Deb: There were 2 things that seemed criminal to her that she saw happen. It would have been helpful if many people would hold this experience.

Diedre: Not punitive or shameful, basis is to not be a shaming practice. This process is used widely in many organizations. Doesn’t feel it has to do with criminality.

Deb: Precedent is that we don’t take on these types of resources

Sheila: Read from notes in 2015 that we agreed to take on teachings if they relate to safe space that are brought up to Meraki

 
Kiara: Feels being proactive and preventative is fundamental for PCD and doesn’t want this to be restricting either. 

Don: Feels we need to be careful with the perception that’s sent and agrees. Worries that some people might be taking advantage of the process. This may be over remedy and increase sense of grievance.

Jason: Feels all points are valid. Is this a move that’s coming down to value of safety? Idea: Where is the allegiance to the org for this training?

Deb and Sheila: Propose to Kendall and Diedre come back next time and give a role play of how this might integrate in the future

Sheila: Feels it’s been valuable to have people with different skill sets and it would be ideal to make sure that’s distributed evenly throughout folks.

Conclusion:

Consent committee to update the  proposal and this topics will be discussed in future meeting(s).

6.    Accepting credit card payments - Kiara

a.     Explore cash to card payments 

                                               i.     Streamline money coming in goes to bank account

                                             ii.     Paying folks electronically 

Discussion:

Most folks agree it’s worth looking in to!

Conclusion:

Kiara will do research and eventually create proposal

7.    Meeting frequency - Oracle

Feels we might have quarterly meetings after dance instead of monthly.

Deb: Suggests will be brought back up in fall 

8.    Evaluation 

 Jason: Interesting to watch new perspectives come up, many solid points were brought up. Productive

Oracle: It’s important to speak to proposal and felt we lost some energy.

Mellen: Discussions are complex and topics sometimes range. We’ve had heavy topics the last few months.

Tasha: Hasn’t been in a while and curious how new process goes.. feels it was productive. Loves vibe checker and beginning ingathering. Outstanding facilitation. Felt there was a lot of time talking about process.

Martin: Doesn’t want to obstruct process. Believes how we decide things are sometimes more important than what we decide. Feels good that process is slowed down.

Kendall: Appreciates obstructions and slowing down. Appreciates Deb’s facilitation during consent committee update.

Kiara: Happy to be here. Plays with investment vs. attachment. 

Diedre: Sometimes frustrated w. process. Appreciates commitment. Wondering our commitment for going deeper.

Steve: Feels freedom is important and enjoys that about dance. Appreciates everyone here.

Sheila: Things meeting has felt the best. Enjoyed the time flow and structure of facilitation 

Draft topics for next agenda:

1.     13+ age discussion of age at dance

2. Container, maybe next time
3. Continue Restorative Justice
4. Consent committee: Snack and Chat Continued 

5.     Survey for PCD members

oproposal for survey

6.     Ingathering - done

oguide and proposal for volunteers, let Martin 

oall ingathering docs

Meraki Meeting Notes- April 16, 2019

 Attendees: 

Diedre, Deb, Kendra, Jason, Martin, Mellen, Judy, Neil, Steve, Lindy, Jenna

In-gathering Wage peace poems

Aligned Agenda:

1. Proposal template – 20 minutes

   a) Proposal template

   b) Meraki Process Proposals (all docs)

2. Consent - 60 minutes

   a) Proposal 1

   b) Proposal 2

3. Spring retreat - 15 minutes

4. Container - 5 minutes

1. Proposal template

Judy: summarized proposal, checklist is already in use.

Proposal template

Feedback: How we roll will be added as an agenda item 

Discussion: 

Diedre: felt it was already helpful to use in crafting a recent proposal 

Lindy: Confirmed is a proposal to accept

Judy: Explains a proposal can be voted on after it’s brought forth and doesn’t need to go through multiple rounds of cycles of reviews

Mellen: would like to see this voted on today and agrees this is a good proposal

Lindy: Would like to vote on it but wanted to check into it a few months later on how it’s going

Jason: Wondering if background on proposal could be previous discussions at Meraki to supplement

Judy: Background is the thinking behind the proposal , capturing supporting information, context of the proposal

Initial discussion may lead to a proposal 

Deb: Doesn’t love print outs for one time use, 1 printed out may be enough.

All: Question on who prints out proposal, person sharing it can do it and bring to Sunday dance to share if desired. This will be a soft guideline.

Kendra: Wondering if we print out for Meraki. Alignment is that we don’t need to.

Vote: 

Proposal approved and we will revisit in September 

Proposal template

2. Consent

Reread background and comment: 

We feel it’s our responsibility to be proactive about issues

Issue are complex

Proposal 1 review: Introducing calm language to express personal boundaries

Proposal 1

Want to help give clarity to people to communicate. Goal: Celebrate power of no on both sides

2 ideas:

1.    Solo bracelet: Armstrong/livestrong like bracelet, stays with wiz, only use when there

Celebration of being on your own Sunday dance 

2.    Heartful no, one had on heart, one hand up. 

response is to do it back, honoring it.

Would request display at entry way, and do an announcement at closing ceremony, 1x/week for first month and then 1x/month in the future moving forward

Mellen: Likes it , wanted to confirm if the person has to do it back

Kendall: Confirmed the person doesn’t have to do it back but they can

Deidre: This is clear language for folks to want to be more comfortable in space. 

Deb: Importance of how it gets placed out is good. Doesn’t want to see 50 bands but maybe 10 and backup. One concern is creating a rigid culture. Important to rehearse on how this is communicated, people can do this at closing circle

Neil: Gesture is clear language, on how to say no. Feels this gives great clarity 

Nasamste would be good too but this is very distinct 

Martin: Originally against bracelet. Some people have a hard time saying now so this method will take away some stigma people have with them that they bring into dance. Feels this will empower expression of what people need.

Jason: Encourage updating signage with a graphic that’s conveys succinctly. To throw a wench, does this mean people will think someone with bracelet wants to dance

Diedre: There will be most people in grey area that aren’t hard no, but aren’t hard yes and those folks will use the gesture if things get intense.

Steve: Forgets these moments occur for people. Thinks it will be great to have a clarifying signal that can’t be misinterpreted.

Kendall: Emphasizes that empowering people to practice this on dance floor. Practice saying no in general and world. 

Jason: For how it’s integrated: emails, website, closing circle. Requests language is consistent and all at once. This will reinforce the message. Also, money may need to be larger amount due to cost of printing out posters.

Deb: Confirmed money can be a separate proposal

Steve: Wondering how he should act around others that are wearing bracelets

Deb: Appreciates thought and feels this is a cultural shift that would be made. Thinks this will be a shift at first but we’ll get comfortable with it soon.

Neil: Corresponding way to invite a dance, figuring out way to ask for consent. Do you want to dance with me? Is still part of the conversion but no definition.

Martin: People are used to feeling hurt and heartful gesture is a stronger no and a good learning place on floor is to begin. Would like us to give thought about hurt of rejection that begins with hostility. Glad gesture of invitation is separate.

Vote on proposal #1:

Agreed! Approved!

Approves: Cost is an estimate, Meraki approves they can spend wisely for the budget.

_________

Proposal 2 review:  

Proposal 2

Deidre: reads proposal about what to do if something happens. 

Proposal about bringing restorative justice to PCD. Would like to adopt processes for issues that arise on the dancefloor. Will be 2 part training with someone.

2, 4-5hr trainings. 1 is a restorative circle . 1 is 1-1 healing 

Cost is $250 for each of the trainings. 8-12 people total. Up to 15 people.

Members of consent, leadership and meraki meetings

Requests that it is a diverse group of folks

Once trained, we can hold a community circle as a kick off.

Restorative method can be used for many issues in addition to consent. 

Each person would pay 10-15$ each and then Meraki would cover the rest of it.

Mellen: Gives background there were some major issues in past, not as much now that she’s aware of and feels this will be really valuable to have in case this happens again. 

Martin: Points out he’s seen issues on the floor before of hostility so this would have been helpful. Not yet clear if this is supposed to be a group that’s an augmented group of PCD or an independent group

Diedre: This would be in house only format to do.

Martin: Worries about attachment of who is harmer vs. who is victim. Wondering how it’s determined for discomfort and who is person.

Diedre: It’s about hearing and receiving another person’s point of view, not so much about the language. It’s a place for emotion to come out, not a punishment place, it’s a community healing place. 

Kendall: Creating an opportunity for someone who felt violated. It’s about reinstalling safety.

Deb: Suggests working with language about not harmer vs. harmed but around anyone that felt harmed. Perception of harm.

Steve: Wondering if breakout groups would happen in small room. 

Neil: Recognition when anything happens it creates rupture in community and not having a way to deal with it perpetuates that. This is going to restore and be a community building process.

Judy: Wants to recognize human beings have messiness. Speak to a trust and spiritual sense of each person being sacred. Feels individuals should also be empowered to deal with their own conflicts. Wouldn’t want that to be lost. 

Conversation will be continued at next meeting.

Diedre is available to chat with anyone in between now and the next meeting.

Neil: Feels what Judy is saying and feels individual solutions are most valuable. This response is out of things that have happened with no real vehicle to resolve. 

3. Spring retreat

Nicole: 

Close to full, 30 people have signed up already

Proposal for Meraki to purchase snacks, tea to be able for people to have for dancing.

Potluck on May 5^th, perhaps adding more to food budget in case folks don’t bring enough.

Deb: Day long workshops are around $100 for 30 people snacks so recommends $200 for budget. 

Lindy: We’ve been flexible in the past that these are covered. 

Judy: First time at this place so this learning curve makes sense. Feels it’s a no brainer and would be unfortunate to make people bring stuff. 

Mellen: Recommends in future budget it’s padded for miscellaneous items.

Retreat budget request:

$200

Will be accounted for in the final report.

 Vote approved

Budget request for Potluck to supplement

$150 or approval for a higher number based on previous spending

Nicole to confirm what we’ve spent in the past with John

4. Container

Jason: Emphasis for Greeter and wiz to take a solid count. Will try and take more active monitoring of dance. Step now is to monitor and get feedback.

Neil: What is background?

Jason: Explains that dance size is increasing and want to be considerate to folks on capacity and container is part of that discussion as container is how things feel and are gelling together. We’ll have data so if we have to do something at some point, we will have the tools available to make an educated decision.

Judy: Updates that we’ll make sure to use same scale to measure 

Jason: Confirms he’s still working on this one. And that the discussion is happening still on DJ committee and Wiz as it’s related to other topics.

Deb/Jason: Confirms checklist method will be available for next meeting.

Tentative Agenda for next time:

·      Restorative Justice 

·      Container

·      Spring Retreat 

·      Survey

·      Legal Update

Evaluation: 

·      Lindy: 2 points, 1. helpful to hear the summary and detail of proposal. 2. Felt like we closed discussion on something but it was tried to be open and felt tension in the process. 

·      Deb: As facilitator wonders when to stop/start and is fluid and is interested in that. Wonders if there were any feelings of pressure on timing to get through topics.

·      Kendall: Challenged with heart and head. Respects our structure and leans into it. One idea for future is to use up all time if possible. Can feel tension from wanting to get deeper into certain topics

·      Mellen: Didn’t feel time pressure as much. Proposals were well done and clear. In order Meraki we’d grind things down so far to nothing. Feels what we have in place is making good use of time. Deb is master facilitator.

·      Martin: Time is boundary and we feel the edge. Deb is agile. 

·      Neil: Felt like his turn to speak came towards end and was challenging to feel like he was being honored on what to bring. Confused on balance of committee and proposal process. 

·      Nicole: Wants to recognize everyone’s contributions to Meraki and supporting it and honoring it as valuable

·      Diedre: Feels glad with how everything works and how proposals were passed. Likes the feeling of moving forward and perspectives to be heard.

·      Judy: Impressed with all of the intelligence in room. Intention with everyone in room is an invisitble knitting that’s a heartspace connecting us and wants to take a mint. Felt everyone was respectful

Martin: Closing.